Teenage Life.

Being a Transplant Teen isn't easy. You go through stages where you feel like a normal teenager, then you go through stages that you think nobody cares. Friends, Parents, Teachers or anyone. Within the stages of transitioning to an Adult after being taken care of by my parents for the past 18 years of my life, I am starting to go through with trying to be more mature and showing them that I can do a lot of these things on my own. Which I can. But sometimes I feel like they don't think I can do everything on my own. It's frustrating, because yet I am in the process of finishing High School, trying to figure out what i'm doing with my life, but again, I always have to worry about whether or not I am going to need another transplant in the future. Because of having this blockage in my liver for so long, I get nervous and tend to think well what if? Through all this I have been dealing with some anxiety and depression. Which has taken somewhat over of what I was when I was little. Realizing more things, thinking about more things and so on and so forth. There are so many things that I want to do, but then again i'm not sure if i will be able to do them. I sometimes feel like I am torn within myself to trying to go both ways of being still a child and transitioning into an adult. Yes being a child was somewhat easy but when you are dealing with hospitals every time you turn around, your childhood becomes somewhat shot. So it feels like now I am trying to not only try to become an adult but also try to makeup for missed time of being a kid. I know I will get through this hard time, it just takes time and a lot of lessons to get through it.

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Comment by Roxeal on May 29, 2012 at 8:30pm: I know how you feel, but from the other end. My kids missed out on having me (their only parent) really being there for them, because I was so sick on dialysis for eight years, I feel like I missed their entire childhood and didn't get to be the mom I wanted to. Now the time is gone, and I finally got a transplant and I'm 45 and feel old and like I missed a LOT. You are fortunate to have your transplant and still a life ahead of you - you can still be a kid into your 20's and have fun. It's not over yet, not till you want it to be, when it comes to that. My donor was a 19 year old with cystic fibrosis, named Elisabeth, a beautiful young girl. She (and her young husband) fought that disease for their lives all of their lives, and I know how much she wanted to live. I try to be thankful for what she gave to me when her young life was taken from her but she allowed me to keep mine a bit longer. We have so much to be thankful for to be able to still be here. I have watched so many patients, friends, and family around me fighting diseases, cancer, etc., and they are gone, but somehow, I'm still here. If we are here, we have a great purpose and should see ourselves as having something to offer the world and those around us. Use it well, and it will keep giving back to you.

Comment by Hostess Risé on April 2, 2012 at 1:31pm: Hi Alison

You express yourself so well. I hear you on every level. First, I would really feel gratitude that you have your parents help. Everything that you want will come in time. I know what you mean about the child wihin. I think it is a good idea to never lose the child within. You can always connect to that side of yourself anytime you like. Life is a series of lessons. I have learned that there are several solutions to every situtation and not all are right or wrong. Never look back and regret as this waste precious time.

Take day by day and give gratitude always to those who love you,

Rise'

Comment by BOBBI on April 2, 2012 at 11:45am: alison

you seem pretty mature already just being able to talk about how you feel .are your biliary ducks blocked?mine were and they did a procedure called a rue and y it did the trick .just stay strong and determined and youll get through this bobbi