Dew and Lestirae

Dew sitting

Toby and Dew

 just cause anyone else is having trouble read the news paper on Dew try this below

Clayton woman needs community's help; fundraiser to be held Dec. 14

Due to her fragile health status, Dew was given a hypoallergenic cat in 2010 - Toby Cat - her best friend.

Carleton Place Almonte Canadian Gazette
ByTara Gesner

Community - "We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."

A fundraiser will be held next month in aid of a Clayton woman suffering from pulmonary fibrosis, leaving her breathless and dependent on oxygen.

Dew Rotor, only 33 years old, is permanently hospitalized at the Toronto General Hospital (TGH) until she receives a lifesaving double-lung transplant. According to close Rotor family friend, Terry Garwood, it was earlier this month that Dew learned her lungs have failed to the point that she must stay at the health-care facility until she receives her transplant.

"It is not known how long it will take to find an organ donor," said Garwood.

Pulmonary fibrosis is a chronic disease that results in scarring of the lungs. The scar tissue replaces healthy tissue and causes inflammation. This damage causes the lungs to stiffen and makes breathing increasingly difficult.

Less than 10 per cent of Dew's lungs are still functioning and even the functioning parts of her lungs are severely compromised.

"In August, the transplant team at the Toronto General Hospital put Dew on the list for a double-lung transplant," said Garwood.

TGH has become the undisputed world leader in lung transplantation.

Ottawa native Hélène Campbell received her double-lung transplant at TGH in April 2012. Her story became public after she reached out to celebrities including Justin Bieber and Ellen DeGeneres to raise awareness about the need for organ donations while awaiting her surgery.

On Aug. 11, Dew and her mother (Leslirae Rotor) moved from their home in Clayton to an area near Guelph, to be within the required two-hour radius of the TGH. They have lived in Mississippi Mills for the last eight years.

However, now that Dew is unable to leave TGH until her transplant, Leslirae must now find accommodation in the city as soon as possible, while maintaining the family home in Clayton.

"I am worried about them," said Garwood. "They are barely coping financially."

What's more, TGH requires the mother and daughter to live in Toronto for a minimum of three months post transplant, which will add additional expense.

People First of Lanark County (PFoLC), along with Garwood are spearheading the Dec.

14 fundraiser to help cover costs for Dew and her mother: accommodation, meals (the hospital cannot meet Dew's requirements for a specialized diet), medical, transportation, moving expenses, the list goes on.

The fundraiser - Life4Dew - takes place Dec. 14 from 7 to 12 p.m. at the Carleton Place Arena (upstairs hall), located at 75 Neelin St.

There will be live music (lineup still to be determined), raffle draw, refreshments and more.

Admission is a $10 donation to the cause.

Dew needs your financial help. To donate or for more information, go to www.Life4Dew.ca. Moreover, follow Dew's journey on social media: www.facebook.com/Life4Dew (Facebook) or @Life4Dew (Twitter).

Watch the Canadian Gazette EMC for more details about Dew and the upcoming fundraiser.

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Comment by Torie A. Campbell on December 24, 2013 at 12:17am
Sorry you had such a rough day today. hopefully tomorrow will be better and you can enjoy your Christmas holiday. Prayers to you and your mom.
Comment by Duane Kellar on December 23, 2013 at 7:27pm



Dew Rotor
4 minutes ago
Dew had another bronchoscopy today,and was sedated afterwards. But is alert and eating now. They took about 10 samples of her new lungs and said she might need more oxygen support and might cough up a bit of blood until the lungs heal from the sampling.

Her right lung is still folded at the bottom and they said that it made sense that it is easier for her to breathe sitting up than lying down as gravity helps open the lung more when she is sitting up.

She is still in a lot of pain today from having had her coughing destabilizing her breastbone which was healing.
She didn't walk yet today because of being sedated from the bronchoscopy, but is hoping to have me help her do her "walk around the block" in a little while.

The hospital also said that they had finished testing her diseased lung and whatever disease that caused her pulmonary fibrosis was definitely NOT sarcoidosis (which is also what the Ottawa General Hospital said in February of this year). They also told her a little bit about what it might be, but Dew didn't absorb it, so I will have to talk to the doctors directly, as it may have a bearing on the future course of the disease.

She had 2 friends visit her today, so that was a very nice lift for her spirits and she had a better day today than yesterday.

  

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 23, 2013 at 4:26pm

12-23 12 noon Pst

Dew Rotor
13 hours ago ·

    The area around the hospital has lots of electricity -- Christmas lights. street lights and office lights on everywhere. Lots of light pollution so it is never actually dark in downtown Toronto -- except today where a lot of neighbourhoods are without power. Many of the hospital staff homes are without power. But the hospital and area around it are unaffected. Even if this area was affected, I suspect the hospital has emergency generators for most functions.

    Today Dew asked virtually every hospital staff member who came into her room if she was being too whiny. They all laughed and said, "No". For her physiotherapy, she walked less than 1/2 the usual distance with the physiotherapists, but then asked me to try again with her later, as she didn't want to do less than previous days and managed about the same distance again. She had several very bad coughing fits, and although the doctor wanted her to try going without any oxygen today, they had to increase her oxygen substantially to get her oxygen saturation levels up again. Then they put her back on 1/2 litre per minute for most of the day -- about the same as yesterday. She had some more severe coughing fits while I was there, and I had to put her oxygen up to 3 litres a minute for maybe 3 minutes, when her oxygen saturation levels dipped into the low 70s, but then we were able to decrease fairly quickly back to a 1/2 litre a minute within 6 or 7 minutes. The nurse then decided to leave her at 1 litre a minute overnight.

    Dew was in a lot of pain suddenly from her breastbone, which was deliberately broken as part of the surgery to allow access to transplant the lungs. Previously she had not had any noticeable pain there. She is afraid she dislocated the two pieces of bone from each other with the severity of her coughing. The pain was so bad that she asked for narcotics again tonight. She had not wanted to, but couldn't manage the pain anymore. Then she promptly conked out around 9 pm. I thought, finally she will get a night's sleep for a change. But the nurse came in about 9:10 to give her some medications and she had to sit up for 1/2 hour after taking them because of the tracheotomy. Then there were another set of medicines that had to be taken 1/2 an hour after the first set and then she had to sit up for another 1/2 hour. Then, after that, her dressings on her wounds needed to be changed and that takes a while. So finally about 10:30, when she was wide awake, she was able to go back to sleep, but by then was wide awake.

    She was out of sorts and fretting most of the evening. She didn't want me out of her sight. The nurse who was her day nurse the day she was told she might get the transplant came in again to check on her as outreach from ICU to step down. She told Dew not to be afraid she was going crazy as the drugs during this phase of transplant are very destabilizing physically, mentally and emotionally. She said that they start the post-transplant period with very high dose of steriods, then bring them down very rapidly which plays havoc with people, even if you don't add in almost dying and then going through the trauma of major surgery and all the mix of all the other drugs combined. She told Dew to cut herself some slack. She said , "You are in a fish bowl, being observed 24/7 and you are going through all this immense trauma and drug induced instability. You can't just have a bad moment without someone noticing it. She said the nurses can go home and have a cry in the privacy of their own homes, but the patients don't have that luxury." Basically she told Dew to stop worrying about being perfect for everyone else when she is going through hell. However, her perfectionism is a trait I have tried unsuccessfully to break her of for decades. I even sent her to India to try to crack that perfectionism and only slightly succeeded in making a small dent in it.

    Dew also had one pill with corn in it today. They are intending to increase the number of pills with corn in them over the next few days. I wondered if that had anything with her doing so much worse today physically and emotionally suddenly as they have been changing the steriods for a while and she was doing great. Let us just hope that increasing the dose of the pills with corn will not tip her over the edge again and set her back with anaphylaxis.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 22, 2013 at 1:14am

about 8:30 PST

Dew Rotor
13 minutes ago
There was a very nice nurse on duty the day before Dew had her transplant. She was the nurse on duty when Dew went into anaphylaxis. I had said the anaphylaxis might be from the antibiotic. But she told me that as she increased the tube feeding formula Dew started getting itchy, and then when she increased the feed, Dew went into anaphylaxis. Dew had been on the antibiotic for a while at that point, so she didn't think it was the antibiotic as there were no previous signs of her reacting to the antibiotic. It happened while she was increasing the rate of the formula down Dew's feed tube. She was not on duty the next day when Dew had her transplant. She had a class that day, but still took the time to come and see Dew in the afternoon (while Dew was unconscious) to see how Dew was doing.

Dew had her as a night nurse last night and when the doctors came around, she explained why she thought it was the corn and not the antibiotic. Tonight she dropped by just to be kind and visit for a couple of minutes with Dew and I, although she was not Dew's nurse tonight. She said that the doctors told her last night that they were hoping that the anaphylaxis was caused by the vancomycin antibiotic, not the corn. They said that vancomycin reactions would most likely show up after a couple of days, not immediately. So they still thought the anaphylaxis might have been caused by the antibiotic, not the corn, despite the fact that Dew had had itching and a rash and was given two antihistamines to try to suppress the allergic reaction while she was being fed the formula with the corn, and was on the 2 antihistimines when she had the anaphylatic reaction.

They think it would be more convenient for her to have allergic reactions to yet another antibiotic, than to have reactions to corn, because corn is in almost all their medicines. (We have bought dozens of kinds of supplements and vitamins all free of all major allergens including gluten, corn, soy, dairy, etc for decades, and there is no difficulty finding these natural supplements, as all the good companies manufacture without major allergens, but apparently the big drug companies are all wedded to cheap corn and other ingredients). I don't think they are thinking about when she is going to need antibiotics though, as there as so few left that she can use.

Regardless, it is not a matter of assigning blame for the anaphylatic reaction to the most convenient possibility, but the fact of what actually caused it. I am beginning to wonder if it was the total load -- the antibiotic plus the corn together that pushed her over the edge. I believe the nurse's observations were correct. But maybe if Dew had not been on the antibiotic at the same time, she would not have had such a violent reaction.

The nurse thinks that the doctors will try the medicine with corn tomorrow. I suspect it might be Monday, but perhaps the regular doctors will not be in on Monday since it is so close to Christmas and may leave these doctors to deal with the problem while they are on holidays in which case they may well follow instructions and give it to her tomorrow.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 21, 2013 at 9:36pm

Dew Rotor
2 hours ago
I'd been thinking that in a few more days, Dew might be able to start doing some of her own posting. Left her alone with the computer for 45 minutes, and came back and found she had used computer to take her picture and had been able to do a little posting! Pretty sound I will not need to "Commandeer" her facebook, as Rocque put it!

The doctors on today are different than yesterday's doctors and I guess they weren't that keen to risk having her go into anaphylaxis on their watch, so the experiment with the medications with corn will wait until the other doctors rotate back.

Dew's kidneys are still pretty under the weather from all the drugs, but are better than they were. No other news yet about the badly functioning diaphram. On the whole now, she is doing much better! 1 1/4 laps of the ICU/Step down unit and 20 minutes on the non-resistance bike. A few days ago after she had semi-collapsed again trying to get Dew from chair to bed, they went back to using the hoist. But hopefully soon, she will be able to do that too

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 21, 2013 at 6:52pm

12-21  about 1pm pst

Dew Rotor
about an hour ago
feeding tube and catheter out.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 20, 2013 at 11:15pm

Dew Rotor
The hospital's plan for tomorrow is to give Dew small amounts of corn starch in pills starting tomorrow. They say that they can not get corn free medications that they are used to working with. They said that they are not sure her anaphylactic reaction was definitely caused by the corn, so want to test it and hope she can tolerate small amounts. They will not give her corn starch and try to desensitize her. Dew is scared that even the small amounts in the medications will set off the anaphylaxis again. Hopefully it will not, but it will maintain her corn allergy at heightened levels, so if her total load gets too high another time, she could go into anaphylaxis at a later date when she is not being monitored. Epipens only give you about 10 minutes and there are plenty of places you can't get to a hospital in 30 minutes. And what happens if you and your multiple epipens are separated?

We have been saying that anaphylaxis over the long run could cut short her life since corn is a lot harder to avoid than say, a peanut allergy, as corn is in virtually everything, whereas peanuts are in a far smaller % of foods, drugs, personal care products, etc, and peanuts tend to be somewhat better labelled, although still not well enough. If they had not pushed her into anaphylaxis with the feeding formulas, there would have been a much smaller risk with the drugs -- just itchiness and possibly small hives. If they could now allow her time for her antibodies to subside, there would be a lower risk of anaphylaxis. But they are saying that they don't know how effective the substitute medications that they have her on currently will work to prevent rejection and want to use their regular anti-rejection drugs.

They said that the manufacturers are not willing to produce corn-free versions of their drugs, despite it being a major allergen.

So Dew's life is now at risk with or without the drugs with the corn in them. Let us hope that the amounts are small enough not to set off anaphylaxis and that constant lower grade inflammation from ingesting small levels of allergens do not interfere with the transplant or her recovery either.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 20, 2013 at 1:30pm

12-20

Dew Rotor
9 hours ago ·

    Tonight I read Dew your comments, wishes and prayers all the way back to Dec 1, pre-transplant. All this time, when she has been so ill, when she was conscious, albeit at times only for seconds, she understood and responded to information and questions from the doctors, nurses and me. I have not yet read her back my posts, as they are all things she experienced, so I was only reading to her what all of you said to her. However, I usually gave her a one sentence run down on what I had been saying that day that you were responding to.

    SHE REMEMBERS SO VERY LITTLE OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER SHE ENDED UP ON ECMO IN ICU! As we went back through the comments and postings, she got confused and I would say, "But you remember when this happened?" Sometimes, after I reminded her she would have a vague foggy recollection or it would slightly ring a bell, or it would sound sort of right although she didn't really remember these things happening, but some things she simply didn't remember at all. She did not remember, for example, having the ventilator associated pneumonia, although she did very vaguely sort of recall, when reminded, that there had been a doubt about her being on the transplant list at the end just prior to transplant. She did not remember Dr. Bell coming to her room the day before she got the transplant. Even visits of friends were somewhat blurry a few days before she'd asked for no more visitors.

    We had been told that she would remember very little of what happened in ICU but I assumed that was just a few days post-transplant, and I thought in her case it was different because she responded in a conscious and normal way to questions all through the time she was in ICU and had opinions and very lucid input to decisions and discussions. The nurses had her sitting up, and even peddling that little non-resistance bike, yet she was not really there enough to form long term memories, or maybe the drugs prevented her long term memory from forming. She certainly had short term memory most of the time. She did have a problem understanding complicated plots of books that she wanted me to read, so I ended up. at her request, reading her a children's book, an old favourite that a friend had brought, "Ramona the Brave". I am not sure if she even remembers that.

    It is probably a blessing that she does not remember most of what happened, but it was a shock to me that she remembers virtually nothing of her time in ICU (about 3 weeks: November 22 - nearly mid-December). When she is well enough, she can read my posts and find out what happened. Right now, she is just very much enjoying hearing all your comments, prayers, support and wishes which have deeply touched her as I read them to her tonight. We both cried over some of your entries, and laughed with others' comments and pictures, and were moved by yet others. Thank-you all for the gift of your support and love.

    I am hoping within a few days, she will be up to using the computer herself. But right now, her concentration, physical abilities and ability to handle to weight of the laptop are not yet there.

    I think soon she will be up to seeing visitors, so if anyone wants to come, (and it is a very busy time of the year for most, so I doubt many people will have the time for the next little while), please send me an e-mail or FB message, or talk to me in advance, and I will let you know if she is likely to be up to visiting when you think you might be able visit. Clearly I was previously vastly over-estimating where she was at. Right now we are still taking it one day at a time, but she is definitely much better than before, but still has a long way to recover.



Dew Rotor
Today the transplant doctor came in and told Dew that avoiding corn would limit her treatment options since most of the drugs she needs have corn in them. So they decided that they would break her of her corn allergy today by giving her more corn starch. They claim they can cure her of her allergy in one day and then it will be safe forever more to give her anything with corn in it. They are experts in this because they claim they once cured someone of their anaphylactic reaction to penicillin by giving them penicillin. Since she still has a tracheotomy they think this would be a safe thing to do.

They were going to embark on this venture first thing this morning. Dew insisted on calling me and I spoke with the doctor. He gave me no details, but suggested I come in to speak with him. I knew that they would once again ignore my information so I told them to speak with Dew's doctor of environmental medicine in Ottawa, or her doctor here in Toronto who is the Director of the Environmental Health Unit at Women's College Hospital. I told them that our doctor was only available until noon today and gave them her phone number. Then I called our doctor's office to let the nurse know the situation. So far they have not come back. Dew is too afraid to say no to anything they come up with.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 19, 2013 at 9:37pm

12-19  5pm pst

Dew Rotor
38 minutes ago
Dew has asked me to post a message from her today. She says:

Thank-you to everyone for your good wishes, prayers, facebook posts and messages, donations, cards and mail. I really appreciate it and I feel very touched and overwhelmed by your kindness and support

Dew Rotor
about an hour ago ·
Cards! Dew got an avalanche of 17 cards today! And yes, in answer to those who were asking, some were from the US. Thanks everyone!

Dew Rotor
50 minutes ago
The nurse yesterday explained that Dew's seizures might all have been caused by the initial doses of cyclosporin, the first anti-rejection medication they gave her. He said it was the cyclosporin which caused the high blood pressure and damage from swelling in the brain which caused the seizures. He said that even though she was not on cyclosporin when the second and third seizures happened, it was the residual effects of the drug.

Dew's blood pressure remained high up until yesterday --over 160/ 80 even yesterday afternoon. The nurse was just saying that they had increased her blood pressure medication but it might be difficult to bring down the high blood pressure for some time, when she took the blood pressure again and it had dropped to 103/70. It is fluctuating between 103 and 115/70 today. So hopefully that means that there will not be further seizures.

Today Dew ate! She'd had no obvious ill effects from breaking her fast last night so abruptly. For breakfast today, she had carrot lemon dill soup that a friend made, and also had that for dinner. For lunch she had the usual baked chicken and white minute rice that she gets for every meal from the hospital. She tried to eat some salad, but found it difficult to chew and swallow. I also brought her some salad wraps but she could only eat one because, like salad, it was too hard to chew and swallow.

Yesterday the plan had been that Dew would have the TPN to her small intestine discontinued today. But the doctors today wanted to continue it. Dew said that it was her Nurse today, who is really super, and the dietician who intervened and said that now she is eating foods that she tolerates, there is no point continuing with TPN. That was the same dietician from ICU, who is no longer responsible for Dew in Step Down, but she still came over to try to intervene and help today. I told you she was a nice lady -- just very constrained by the resources in the hospital and the limitations of the hospital protocols. I think she will also be very relieved not to have the challenges Dew presented anymore, but she was learning and trying hard to help, and went out of her way today to advocate to help Dew, even after Dew was no longer her responsibility.

So Dew still has the tube down her nose to her small intestine. I really hope they will take it out tomorrow. She did, however, have all her chest drain tubing removed. After the operation she had 6 tubes draining her chest, and today, none.

They took Dew for an ultrasound today to check her diaphram. She still has a partly collapsed right lung at the bottom which there were hoping her diaphram would reinflate and that her chest cavity would expand to make room for. They said her diaphram is not working properly -- perhaps due to trauma from the transplant surgery. The doctor said it is not usually reversable, but there is still a chance that i might begin to work properly again. In any case, her oxygen saturation rates remain good and she is on even less oxygen.

Yesterday the Respiratory Technician wanted her on 2 litres per minute and was going to consider reducing to 1 litre per minute today. In the ICU, the nurses don't take a step without the OK of the RT, but it is different here. Last night the night nurse turned Dew's oxygen down to one. She told him the RT didn't want to reduce it further until today, but he said," You really don't need it at all anymore", and turned it down. That was my suspicion for the past few days -- that Dew's blood saturation levels are good without oxygen -- but the RTs want to prevent going too fast and stressing the lungs too soon. The nurse took her off oxygen for a few minutes and Dew didn't fall below 94% oxygen saturation, which is very acceptable. The RTs have been surprised how fast she is adjusting to breathing, but want to be somewhat cautious.

There was a new empty room today that opened up, but the nurse in charge refused to move Dew there. I asked if they would consider it for tomorrow and they said they would, but I am pretty sure that that was just a way to be rid of me, and that they will not move her. They keep saying she won't be here long and will be going down to the regular wards in 4 or 5 days.

The patient from last night is still here, but is calm today. They got someone to sit with him all day today. The nurses last night were saying that the transplant medications can really cause problems in patients.

Comment by Duane Kellar on December 19, 2013 at 3:03am


12-18

Dew Rotor
Today was a really good day for Dew up until around 6:30 pm.

She went for a swallow test with the speech language pathologist, and then for an x-ray with dye and passed them both. Because the medical transport people were nearly an hour late, she missed the first attempt to give her the test. The nurse said Dew was very lucky because usually when someone has a tracheotomy downsized it is days before they get around to doing the tests. Further, she said someone really put on a push for getting Dew a second appointment, because the machine was going for servicing tonight and would not be back in use until after Christmas! The nurse said that lots of patients get very malnourished while in ICU because they can`t eat for weeks, but the hospital`s priority is to address their life-threatening problems, so the hospital generally doesn`t worry too much about the malnutrition. She said it wasn`t a good thing, but they can`t address everything. So she was really lucky that whoever was looking out for Dew made it happen today (I think the speech language pathologist).
The GREAT news is that she can EAT again, despite the tracheotomy!

I hoping that they would let her eat pureed liquid soups and that kind of thing to start with, so had stocked up on a couple of tolerated pureed soups for her as well as almond milk and coconut milk to which I could add things in liquid form. But they came back with virtually no restrictions on her eating. She is not allowed to use a straw and has to remain in an upright seated position for at least a half hour after eating, but we don`t consider those to be an barrier to eating!

Although I would have preferred her to start with lighter liquids after more than a month without food, she wanted to go for solid food since she is so hungry. They brought her the same meal they always give her in this hospital -- a small piece of baked chicken, lots of minute rice and a little bit of vegetable. She has now had that meal more than 85 times, but not for over a month now, so it was palatable. As I said, meat would not have been my first choice to break a fast of that long, but I could hardly tell her not to eat the food they brought, when she has been so hungry for so long. She listened to caution and only ate half her dinner, although she was still hungry, as I was afraid if she overdid it and ate a full meal with meat the very first time after a month of fasting that she would regret it.

If all goes well tomorrow she can eat more and I will be prepared to bring her solid food, not just liquid food.

If all goes well, I think they might take out the nose tube down into her small intestine tomorrow.


Dew Rotor
19 minutes ago
So it was a really good day for Dew until early evening. They told her she was going to Step Down today around 5:30. ICU needed her bed for someone else but Step Down was dragging its feet and didn`t want to take her until about 8 pm. So the ICU nurse took the bull by the horns at about 6:30 and moved her over to the Step Down. Step Down had not finished cleaning the room. A friend and I were helping move her things to the new room and so realized what the problem appeared to be. The patient in the next fish bowl over was raging for hours at the nurse, then a doctor, etc. So the nurse in Step down was overwhelmed and didn`t want to take on a second patient until her shift ended.

Dew is so emotionally sensitive that I knew that this was going to be a really bad situation for her -- even though he was not raging at her. But she gets upset when other people are yelling and shouting around her. I asked if there was another room available, although I knew there was not, or there would not be the issue about the timing of the transfer. The lovely respiratory technologist had told Dew that she was not wanting to push Dew off oxygen too fast, and that Dew had been on 3 litres a minute yesterday and the RT had decreased it to 2 litres a minute today, but did not want to reduce it further until tomorrow, assuming that things went well on 2 litres per minute today and tonight. She advised us to ask the evening nurse tonight to move Dew so it would be on the radar for tomorrow if a room became available. She also said that she didn`t expect to see Dew again as the RT was going on vacation and was hoping Dew would continue to do so well, that Dew would not still be in ICU or Step Down when she returned. Anyway she said it was her hope that Dew would be well on her way to recovery by the time she returned and would be down on the 7th floor. A very sweet nurse yesterday said she would not be back in ICU for several days and that she really liked Dew but it would be a good thing if she did not have Dew as a patient again, as that would mean Dew was doing well. Today`s nurse kindly asked Dew to come back to ICU after she was discharged from the hospital and say hello to whoever was on that day. She said they change around, but whoever was on that day would love to see her recovered. She also told me that I was ``a good advocate for my daughter``.

Dew has been so brave throughout all the harrowing experiences she has had in hospital to date. Tonight, however, she was quite upset about all the shouting and screaming next door. Finally the new young male nurse after shift change seemed to get him somewhat less agitated. However, all the nurse`s efforts were in the other room, on trying to keep the guy somewhat less upset. Dew said,``Tonight I don`t have a nurse at all``. She had been worried that she would be too much work for the step down nurse who has two patients instead of the one patient per nurse in ICU. When the young male nurse finally was able to come and check on Dew, I asked if there was a possibility of changing her room. He was already exhausted from dealing with the situation next door, and had little sympathy. He said that comfort was low on the list of priorities and the main issue was to improve her medical stability and that no other patient was going to want to change with Dew. I said, ``Of course not, and not tonight, but if a room opens up tomorrow, can we move her there?``. He said that Dew could ask the in-charge tomorrow, but didn`t think it would be likely.

Then the man in the next room got further agitated again and was shouting for food. The nurse was trying to scrounge something up, but there really was not anything at that hour (around 9pm). So Dew asked me to take the nurse the unopened container of jello they had given her and her unopened cranberry juice which she could not have as it has corn in it, and offer it to the man in the next room. The nurse took it, but the man was shouting that he wanted pureed vegetables (can`t disagree with him there -- the hospital is VERY short on vegetables!), so Dew`s attempt to help, didn`t.

Dew was upset about the new place not only because of all the shouting but also because the room she is in with the glass front is at the end of an enormous length of corridor so she had no privacy at all. Also the bed in Step Down is not designed to be comfortable, as the beds in ICU are, so she could not find a position in which she was not in pain. The nurse offered her narcotics, but she didn`t want to go back to being semiconscious and didn`t want to suppress her breathing. But finally after suffering a lot for a few hours, she agreed to take a small dose of the narcotics.

She was agitated and couldn`t rest. She had had only 4 hours sleep the night before and could not get comfortable enough to be able to sleep. She ended up in tears for the very first time since all this started, saying that she wished she could have stayed in ICU. She didn`t want to be in this place, and wished we could just go home. She said if she had not gone with the cork on the ventilator full time today, they would have kept her back a day in ICU. I finally got her calmed down somewhat and then stupidly made an allusion to her donor. If I`d thought she was upset before, that really did it. She cried about his death, and she wanted to write the letter to his family right then and there, but was too upset to do it, too exhausted, and in too much pain, physically and emotionally. Anyway she finally settled a bit and was going to try to sleep, so I had to leave her for the night. I hope she gets some sleep tonight!

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