I think that was my hardest time. I now feel I had to learn how to live not only with a new liver but the meds also
I guess I don't understand what "not doing more" means. Does he think he should have gotten you medical help earlier or that he didn't do enough to support you when you were sick? I think explaining to him that his actions now are causing trouble for you would be helpful. The past whatever it is, is done. Neither of you can go back. He does need to know that his dwelling on the past is hurtful to you now and that you would appreciate it if he would stop that stuff.
First, let me say happy birthday. anniv are emotional times. i also think there are a lot of care givers as well as transplantee, or those waiting deal with life difficult moments in different ways. some fall apart emotionally as it is happening, some before if they know it is going to happen, and some it doesnt hit them for some time even years. and some keep it all in and some let it go and share it all. there is no correct way we all morn in different ways. and it is morning for a loss, there is guilt, regret, ......you name the emotion and it is there. happy ones too. i am sure you know all this but sometimes i know i need to hear things a few times before i really understand it emotionally. you can talk with him, i know i went to see someone a few years after my transplant, i asked questions about my husband who sounds similar to your, my husband would just say we will get through it and not open to talking about feeling. so he never even thought about going with me to see someone. the therapist told me that the point i was missing was that i almost died and my husband had to deal with that.......duh that never entered my mind......i knew that but i guess i was so busy trying to be able to live it never occur to me that my husband was the rock and it took a big shot. i know all here are going to tell you and i agree to try to get your husband to talk to someone and get support. i can tell you, my husband would never go for support, just not a talker or a chatter, it is not the way he was made. i on the other hand can chat to a blade of grass lol, however i also am not one to ask for help, however it is a growing process for me. mine is one of those manly men, strong and silent type, with a big heart, and deeds that shine through, not the chit chat. my think is.......get him to go to an appt with you and ask the question of the dr or social work with him present. you may fight on the way home but it will get him to talk. just my thoughts........i am sure others will have good post. wishing you the best. keep talking and posting here or email me or others......rita
Can you give us more detail into your story.
Sounds like he is not letting you heal. Maybe he wants the attention that you were getting?
Without full detail it is difficult for us to really listen.