Girl Talk

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Comment by lovingmyself on April 24, 2012 at 8:41pm

okay Bobbi and you are right been there and did that when I first got my transplant not trying to go there again and I will give you an update later.

Comment by BOBBI on April 24, 2012 at 7:26pm

i think your doing the right thing .he sounds very set in his ways most men that age are.he just wants a commitment with you because he doesnt want to be alone.but if he truly wants a commitment with you he would try to get to know you .and would want to do the things you like .he sounds very controlling.you gotta watch that because when were sick we can become very vunerable to men like that.i know i get tired sometimes and just wish someone would come in and takeover but if your truly not friends with the person it can run into trouble. i was taken advantage of already when i was sick.you have to watch for any alterior motive .take care of you and let me know how it goes.

Comment by lovingmyself on April 24, 2012 at 1:17pm

And Bobbi now that I got that off my chest and I am going to move on from it and I just found out now that he thinks the ring means were in a committed relationship and this why he's getting the ring back BUT the necklace set was a b-day gift and I decided I will keep that.

Comment by lovingmyself on April 24, 2012 at 1:09pm

Bobbi he asked me what I wanted for my birthday gifts, I gave him 6 choices but still he bought me what he wanted. The ring I never asked for, that ring has a value of at least 2000.00 so inappropriate I thought,  the earrings and necklace which he left the price tag on it cost 100.00. All I asked for, was a gift certificate to a movie, a wig that cost 30.00 because I lost my hair due to our friend Prograf or anything in the hearing aide department to help me hear on the phone better or help the phone ring louder so I can hear it since I lost my part of my hearing from medications(gentamicin) during doing PD. The things I asked for were things I could really use and rather had. I stated, I didn't want jewelry but he said he got me what he wanted me to have when he gave it to me.He asked me where I wanted to eat the day I came to him which was the day before because he lives 2 hours away from me, I said Chinese but before that he stated maybe we could get pizza then I said I would rather have Chinese BUT we ended up with pizza. The next day we were suppose to go to a really nice stir fry place at my request, I love this place but we didn't go there because he didn't wake me up on time he decided to let me sleep saying I needed my rest but I didn't go there for rest, I went there to enjoy my birthday I could have rested at home he still wanted to do things his way. I have a sleeping disorder from all my medications I take he knows this and it's hard for me to sleep but he figure since I was sleep he would let me sleep the day away but not understanding it wasn't about that the day of my birthday. Sleeping it away is like being dead to me, I didn't want that. Before I went he kept saying this is going to be a good birthday for" US" I knew then it was going to be an issue. He's 10 years older(56) than me, his wife died 7 years ago I am the first person he took a chance on and started seeing so he takes it as everything is BIG step for HIM( which I'm sure it is but not on my birthday) and my birthday being the same as his deceased wife he took that as some sign that God wants us together and the fact one of my daughters birthday is the same as his daughters birthday and the fact that me and his deceased wife both had our oldest child taken from us by the father of the child and her and I sharing the same birthdate. He really thought my birthday was for him. To this moment he still patting himself on the back for what he did for me and me being the kind person my momma taught me to be doesn't have the nervous to tell him how I really feel BUT I am sending him his gift back to him this week with a letter explaining why and how much my birthday each year means to me. When I tried to tell him in the beginning, he tells me he knows how I feel because his wife suffered so much before she died," HIS wife died of cancer" so I really know in my heart he doesn't know what it meant for me I don't have cancer I don't know what they go through, I have end stage renal failure and LIVING with a Transplant now, that's what I know about !

Comment by BOBBI on April 24, 2012 at 12:15pm

asking for one day to do what YOUwant is not being selfish.if this date was being unselfish he should of asked you what YOU wanted to do for your bday and been happy to do it.he should of gone to the cemetary by himself to visit his dead wife apparently hes not over that yet.i would keep his bday presents and move on.be happy we only have one life and you got a second chance at it so enjoy and its time for you now.

Comment by lovingmyself on April 24, 2012 at 11:46am

Thank you all for the Happy Birthdays! My birthday didn't come out as I wanted it to, the person I decided to spend it with didn't seem to understand how important celebrating a birthday for me was, he took me to a cemetery( to visit his deceased wife that shares the same birthday) and a hospital ( to see his sister that was having surgery the NEXT day)that day, we never got to the real things I wanted to, like going out to eat. I'm so grateful for everyday I wake and  I don't complain much about anything any more but this ONE special day I wanted it my! It's two days past my birthday and I've held the tears in all weekend but now they flow as I type this. The gifts he gave me the diamond ring the expensive necklace and earrings were nice but having things my way just that one day meant everything to me. Had I spent it without him (I've only known him for three months) I would have gotten just what I wanted for my birthday it would have been my way. Please don't look at me as ungrateful . This is my first birthday I have spent with anyone other than my children in 12 years it was suppose to be different. Am I just being ungrateful?

Comment by Hostess Rise' on February 11, 2012 at 3:52pm

Comment by Hostess Rise' on January 10, 2012 at 6:34pm

Hi Kayla

Congratulations on your upcoming mariage.  I believe we all need to way the risks when having children.  The best support and advice I can share is to always listen to your doctors. They know you and research the latest information.

 

Be well

Rise'

Comment by Kayla on January 9, 2012 at 3:33pm

I have had my transplant for 15 years now and am getting married in March 2012. My fiancee and I want to start having children but I am on Cellcept. My doctor, well he does not have the best bedside manner, and is going to be increasing my Prograf and putting me on Prednisolone, also deciding my impending death for the switches. We are waiting to make the switch after the wedding so I don't have chipmunk cheeks for that day. If anyone one else has gone through getting pregnant after a transplant I would love and truly appreciate their comments and support. Or if it is impossible to survive this, like my doctor is hinting, to tell me I'm crazy too, just politely. :-) Thank you. All help would be appreciated.

Comment by Hostess Rise' on December 3, 2011 at 10:13pm

For the ladies to read-http://www.healyourlife.com/author-christiane-northrup-md/2010/10/l...

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